Rabu, 10 Juli 2013

Top 5 most intense moment in my life

So I realized that, instead of making my blog too emo, I'm gonna write something different than a poem, hahaha. And here we go :

5. It was night and I was getting really anxious because I was waiting for my national examination result! it sucks how indonesia obligate that to pass. I think it was like the peak of my anxiety, but it came out not too bad so yeah, I'm fine now, ahahahaa

4. This one is when I was just a little girl with the beatles hair. My mom was driving, I think she set the music too loud in the car, and we were driving through this railway (the railway didn't have a barrier at that time) And suddenly everyone screamed "turnover! turnover!" but my mom kept on going. Then out of sudden, there was this train coming right behind the car...I thanked god I'm still alive...

3. PLANE TURBULENCE!!! Urghh this is one of the reason why I hate planes! That time was really bad! I was on my way home from thailand and I had to take 4 hours flight and the whole flight was creepy as hell! It was shaky everywhere, like the "road" is rocky or something. When it reached the worst turbulence, the pilot set up a classical music in the cabin to make the passanger calm...thanks to that pilot...

2. When my mom and dad fight...First when I was 5, and second when I was 11...Lots of banging and yelling and screaming, and that's one of the reason I won't get married in the future....

1. That whole emergency room moments involving my mom...This memory is the most traumatic thing I've ever got as a teenager. I thought she was about to fly to heaven and be an angel or something, but thank god! she's still with me until now!

Sabtu, 06 Juli 2013


"It's not even a poem anyway"

I bet you got no heart
Yeah, because I stole it
It is still lingers in my hand; fresh and bloody
I stole a bite and it was tasty
But your dad's seeing me, his eyes are all puffy
He said "What the hell did you do to my son?"
And I said "Nothing, we were just having fun..
It is something I've always wanted to do,
Because this human like him have no rue"
And so do you

He got mad so I sliced his throat
Pulled his eyes out, let him rot
His guts was all over the floor
His head was rolling to the door

It was not long until your mom stepped inside
And your little brother closed his eyes
They looked so pale, in horror
And your brother passed out of the odour

I took a gun and killed them both
I pulled the trigger, one quick shot
"It will be the most painless thing I give
for someone who had fooled me in deceive"

This kind of act never reminds me of my sin
Because I know you'll look good in that coffin
And aww...you look cute with that maggots on your eyes...
And your family's in black, they're all saying goodbye

They didn't know that the car is locked
They didn't know that the street is blocked
I watched in smile as the car burned down in explosion
Thus, Murder finally become my addiction

I walked down the street carrying their corpses
Your body was never in that funeral
The body inside the coffin was my boss's
Who had given me problems of financial

I took you home and sing on my own
And I stuffed your body with cotton
So you'll be my own dearest doll
And so do the rest of them all

"It's weird, isn't it?
How a bullied girl could murder?
It's funny, isn't it?
That the polices won't bother
Just me and you, we're gonna have a tea party
Cause I'm playing with the dead
I'm playing with the dead
I'm happy and you're dead!!!"

The Anxiety Of Mind

This world seems to offer me no solace
My wits grows anguished once the day turns dawn
I have no person to blame
This act of sinister confronts my sanity
Rushes and attack my already broken soul
Whatever I'm about to commit, it is inhuman

Am I too young to witness such horror?
Alas! the thought haunts me at night; like a ghost!
Who lives inside me and eats my flesh slowly
That it comes to this mind of chaos
Repeating its word and whispers its cruelty
That I will be the victim of a disease I most feared

Helps that I called out left me no avail

The most wicked truth had reached the hand of my mother
The reaper asked her to dance in his dark and doomed ballroom
He threw a glance at me as he spinned her
He caught her by his arms before she hit the floor; turning his fleshless head and fixed his stare at me
Those red eyes, shrieking sound of his bony neck, and his meatless jaw
Telling me I'm next

W.S Rendra - Doa seorang serdadu sebelum berperang

WajahMu membayang di kota terbakar
dan firmanMu terguris di atas ribuan
kuburan yang dangkal
Anak menangis kehilangan bapa
Tanah sepi kehilangan lelakinya
Bukannya benih yang disebar di bumi subur ini
tapi bangkai dan wajah mati yang sia-sia

Apabila malam turun nanti
sempurnalah sudah warna dosa
dan mesiu kembali lagi bicara
Waktu itu, Tuhanku,
perkenankan aku membunuh
perkenankan aku menusukkan sangkurku

Malam dan wajahku
adalah satu warna
Dosa dan nafasku
adalah satu udara.
Tak ada lagi pilihan
kecuali menyadari
-biarpun bersama penyesalan-

Apa yang bisa diucapkan
oleh bibirku yang terjajah ?
Sementara kulihat kedua lengaMu yang capai
mendekap bumi yang mengkhianatiMu
Erat-erat kugenggam senapanku
Perkenankan aku membunuh
Perkenankan aku menusukkan sangkurku