Rabu, 23 April 2014

Analyzation of "Purnama tengah malam"

*WARNING. THIS POST CONTAIN PROFANITIES AND SUGGESTIVE CONTENTS*
Okay...this is going to be an emo post again -_- This is my analyzation of my own poetry which is originally in indonesian, so I have to translate it to english so I can explain. Here we go :
Translation of the poem :
" The full moon of midnight"
My full moon shone in the darkness of night
Brighter than the dimming stars
So tall she is, she sees the grass turned solid
She sees the freezing trees
The clouds and rain come in front of her
Cries as my full moon behind them
Meanwhile, she only stares at the darkness of the night.
The hungry eagle fly around my full moon
Flapping its marvellous wings and stroke them at her
My full moon is sad, she dimmed
The clouds are gone by the blowing wind
My full moon is sad, vulnerable
The leaves and trees are silenced
And dancing to the wind as usual
My full moon floats to the outer space
With the disgusting meteors that will always fly beside her
They are burnt by passion and gather in smoke
All she can do is be quiet, and angry at her own light
She doesn't know anymore
She doesn't believe anymore
Her light turns dimmer
My full moon, who made those holes on her face?
Eroded by lion's words and wolf's desire
Every animals on earth whistles at her
She fade away to the night
And turns crescent
Analyzation :
okay, this poem is clearly personal with a metaphor of full moon. It could be interpreted in many ways, But since i wrote this one, I will tell you what this poem is actually about.
It's actually about sexual harassmemt
The full moon represents me. The clouds represent the protection for myself (Cries as my full moon behind them), while it is sometimes not strong enough to 'hide' me from the world (The clouds are gone by the blowing wind). The rain represents my sadness.
The first paragraph means that, no matter how hard I try to blend in, I will always be the one who attracts attention or 'shine brighter' than the others (stars). Grass and trees also represent other people and how they are often out of my reach and don't do anything about it (So tall she is, she sees the grass turned solid; She sees the freezing trees).
The 'hungry eagle' is obviously that bastard who touched me in a part he musn't. I felt dirty and dishonored afterwards and try to be as unnoticed as possible (My full moon is sad, she dimmed; My full moon is sad, vulnerable) But then I realized that no one could protect me and I'm prone to that kind of danger (The clouds are gone by the blowing wind). But no-one will do anything about it (The leaves and trees are silenced) and consider this a normal thing and the bastard just laugh it off when I confronted him about it (And dancing to the wind as usual). I just don't understand. I don't wear anything short, but i bet he touched me because I was walking alone. I feel like "Bitch, I can't always be accompanied by my parents, they won't always be there for me.". Even my dad taught me to do things myself.
So enough about the feminism speech, haha. 'Outer space' represent a place where I don't recognize anyone. Some boys will be a horndog asshole to me (With the disgusting meteors that will always fly beside her). His attitude is only for sexual satisfaction and nothing else (they are burnt by passion) but he doesn't realize that it is wrong and keeps on doing it with his friends (and gather in smoke). Because of this, I sometimes blame myself and wish that I could be unattractive (All she can do is be quiet, and angry at her own light)
I don't know what to do anymore (She doesn't know anymore), I find it hard to trust someone (She doesn't believe anymore) and isolate myself so that no one will bother me (Her light turns dimmer).
"Holes in her face" represents my feeling of guilt for letting it happen to myself. I mean, I could've punched him, but it happened so fast, I don't know who the actual bastard was. It also represents my mental condition after that incident and my history of being bullied by boys ( My full moon, who made those holes on her face?, Eroded by lion's words and wolf's desire). "Animals" are those random guys that whistle at me everytime I walk alone (Every animals on earth whistles at her)
This incident had made me hard to trust a guy, I know I shouldn't generalize guys, not all of them are jerks. But after this incident, I'm trying to avoid guys as frequently as possible (She fade away to the night), until I finally come to a state of "reclusion" in which I go very silent and not talking at all (And turns crescent).

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