Jumat, 07 Juli 2017

This is embarassing, but gold.

I know, I can't sing. The harmony is also horrible. But this performance, right here, is the epitome of my last years in high school in Indonesia before I eventually left. It's influential to my teenage life and I'm not even being dramatic even though it sounds like it. (Hahaha, still too dramatic tho)

A little story :
I have always been the outcast of my class due to my general awkwardness in social situation and the difficulty of finding someone who likes the topics I'm also interested to talk about. Also, my ability in English was not helping because people think I'm one of those elite people who discriminates against people less fortunate that her. I'm not. I'm just hella awkward and shy. So, for two years, I had always sat alone and only talked to people when I really had to.
Then a new girl came to our class (the girl on the right). She had to sit in the same desk as I was so we quickly became deskmates. She also knew stuff that others did not and we had similar interests, so we quickly became friends. Suddenly people surrounded my desk because of her presence. Because of her, I started to gain more confidence in talking to other people. She was also the one who introduced me to anime, one of them was Your Lie in April.
During a practical exam for my Indonesian class, we had to make a musicalised poetry. Because she and the guy (one with the guitar)  are major Otakus, we based the melody of the song on the intro song of the second season of YLIA. We modified the lyrics and the poetry into something about saying goodbye to your highschool friends because we are graduating and will enter college soon (basically our situation atm)
To our surprise, the whole class loved the song. They sorta made it into "our graduation song". Then I was  finally fully integrated into that part of 'us' that I never once was.
During the practical exam of art and culture, we sang the song in groups after taking over the stage, to the teachers' surprises. We even won an award for the most entitative class hahahaha (those were good times man).
The girl and I had never intended the song to be applied to real life situation that  actually matched the song lyrics. So I was quite proud to be a part of that even though I can't sing for shit. That was my first step of recovery from low self confidence and isolation, and it's actually very amusing how this simple, plagiarised song became something that brought us together. I was no longer "that elite girl who can't talk in public" but I became "that girl who made 'our' song with the other girl".
It's great to be a part of something influential. Especially that you managed to "control" the mass with a song that you're a part of. I loved high school man.